Monday, March 19, 2012

It's a long hard road out of hell.

It's that special time of the development cycle, that persistent nagging conviction, that total commitment to a project that forces me into wild irrational mood swings where I compulsively refuse to play games, refuse have fun, refuse to get hammered and refuse to feel good about anything. I know my affliction sounds like depression, but it's not, it's something far worse, it's a despair deeper than anything experienced by any poet and/or medicated twat. Image a man, different than you, facing the black monolith of unknown, trying to focus on it's depth, it's richness, it's texture and it's sheer size. Now imagine that same man, still different than you, attempting to understand that black monolith of the unknown in the deepest philosophical understanding while trying to block out that ear blistering shrill sound of the top 40 radio hits blasting in his ears while attempting to write reliable code on the most affordable ergonomic keyboard ever made while drinking cheap Japanese light beer. That's my life and I'm living the dream, day and night, night and day, day by day until the end. Maybe one day when I'm freed, when I'm not broke, not living the dream, not depressed with a fresh techno playlist, I'll write a novel about me, for you to read. I'm not editing or re-reading this post, I'm going all the way today, stream of consciousness in your face.

No comments: