Friday, March 12, 2010

Let's have an intelligent conversation here: I'll talk, and you listen.

The thing about lies is that most people rather accept lies than confront lies and those same people rather accept the liar than the person who confronts the lie. This behavior is all too common and simply pathetic.

Video games are all about escapism, it's interesting that lying isn't a common plot device, players can lie as often as they want without any repercussions or guilt, I can think of all sorts of entertaining lies which can be used to drive games in countless unpredictable and depraved directions.

Behold Moonbase 3D


Monday, March 1, 2010

It's what plants crave...

I pored myself a glass of Jagermeister and coke until I noticed that I was actually poring myself extra virgin olive oil and coke; then a parallel to game development struck me, most games are mixed with cooking oils instead of booze. Game publishers hold back on the hard liquor because most people don't like hard liquor, most people like lite beer. I was wrong about all commercial games being pillow talking prostitutes, no doubt some commercial games are pillow talking prostitutes, but most games are just lite beer mixed with cooking oil. I'm sure some of you are thinking that you like lite beers, but you're wrong, it's the pillow talking prostitutes in advertising who have convinced you that lite beer is something to drink, but they lied to you, lite beer is pretty much the worst thing to drink, I would rather drink the cooking oil and coke instead. No doubt some of you have now noticed that I already downed my cooking oil and booze, waste not, want not? What does that mean?

Anyway. Soon, everyone, including you, can play my lite beer video game. That's right, you read right, I have been brewing light beer all month, because I know that you, like everyone else, likes lite beer video games instead of hard liquor video games. Why? Because I want your money and the rest of your families money, if I could invent a incredibly addictive drug, I would.

Wouldn't it be great if soda machines mixed soda syrup and booze instead of soda syrup and water? Probably not for you... since you like lite beer... back to drink and back to work.