Chronodash

Challenge your skills in the most diabolical first person platformer ever made.

Bronze Power Listener

I really don't think men should ever sing, there is something wrong with it, I can't put my finger on it, but there is just something that rubs in the wrong way. Men singing, haha silly. Now women singing, that's different, there is something special to it, something soothing and satisfying, something intriguing. Zune gave me a "badge", I guess it's like an achievement, I'm a "Bronze Power Listener", sounds like a pretty important huh. Yep. The game is nearly here, I worked out some glitches, some knots, and some shit, I have some sound effects to do and that's it. Oh, Escape From Robot Doom (XBOX 360 version) has been pirated and is available a number websites now, I big time now.

We go into battle to reclaim our lives.

...

I love Orange!

I have never lived anywhere with wallpaper before... I wonder if it's because I'm poor or low class or both or I don't know what I'm talking about or if wallpaper is old fashioned or what. It doesn't matter. Forget I said it. I'm living the dream the hard way, that's gotta be special someone right? My fix list is getting shorter by the minute because I'm crossing off shit I don't want to fix. I said it, it's true, it's out there, public record or internet record or something.

Burning up my mind.

Windows Live Movie Maker sucks, it's crashy, unreliable and worst of all, it's Macintoshy. I spent yesterday attempting to make it work, I mauled my drivers, I mauled my video condexs, I banged my head on the keyboard. I gave up. I checked out some open source video editors, not so great. Then it occurred to me to check out old versions of Windows Movie Maker. Bang! Problem solved, Windows Movie Maker 6.0 rocks, easy to use and only crashed once. Here is my trial run at a teaser.

My Fan Base

When I was younger than I am now, I really liked stalker jokes, I thought they were hilarious, jaw droppers, and dead baby jokes, those were good to. But no so much any more, it's not that they are too crude or tasteless, it's that they are too simple, I realized I just like clever jokes. Speaking of clever jokes, I completed my first run through of the recently finished new game, pretty awesome stuff, I think this is my first game I don't actually mind playing, true story. I have spent approximately fifty (or maybe less?) hours play testing and revising just the levels of this game, and honestly, I didn't mind it, I found it challenging and rewarding, I think that three dimensional platforming is a fantastic game mechanic with a lot of growth potential. Games like the new Prince of Persia and Bionic Commando games don't scratch the surface of what this mechanic has to offer.

If Escape From Robot Doom had sold ten times as many copies I would have made as much money as if I had been working at McDonnald's. I have stronger, better, more masculine hopes for this game, and I like exploiting things, if my new game sells better than Robot Doom, you're going to have to endure through three or four sequels, prequels, gold and platinum and remastered editions. I know I have a fan base out there, posting articles and shit talking six months after Escape From Robot Doom came out, you know who you are, and this time I want my review you keep threatening. Or Else.

Death By Molten Robot!

I heard that Death by Lava hurts, probably just hand wringer talk, maybe. Lava can't be that bad right? Molten rock? Molten Robot? Nah. Maybe if you caught fire first? Whatever. I'm busy busy, not much left, only a little bit of bondo and the game will be all ready.

Evil speaks to me...

I have my finger on the trigger and my mind is made up... wait, wrong blog.

Yeah Yeah. Still working. I'm spackling over some rough spots, it will be fine, no worries.

Yikes.

Alright, I forgot some stuff, so I didn't upload whenever I said I was going to. Maybe I'll make up for it, but probably not.

The Borg vs The Founding Fathers

Fun Fact! The Wikipedia article for Star Trek's Borg is 6,713 words, the Wikipedia article about the founding fathers of the United States is 2,875 words. All "ifs" "ands" and "buts", justifications or any other madness aside, I recognize a serious lack of super fans on the side of the founding fathers. Speaking of a lack of super fans, seriously, does anyone read my blog? Bleh, this isn't for you, this is for me and I'm going to keep telling myself that. Tomorrow or sometime after tomorrow, I'll be uploading my new game to xbox live indie games, get ready.

Beyond sight and sound - beyond mind and matter!

It's 91.4 million miles between the Earth and the Sun at Perihelion and 94.5 million miles at Aphelion, the Earth is 3.1 million miles closer to the sun and Perihelion than at Aphelion, that's approximation twelve times the distance between the cores of the Earth and Moon. Fun fact huh. Anyway, after some project restructuring and goal modifications, I'll be uploading my new game to xbox live indie games by this weekend, and it will become available some time after that.

Diabolical! Visionary!

I made a third level loop this week, should be big fun, it's the hardest so far, some consider it diabolical, others visionary, I consider it both diabolical and visionary! Escape From Robot Doom 2 (working title) is going to be a slamming one dollar deal on xbox live indie games.

This is your life and it's ending one year at a time.

Everyone has solved a two dimensional maze, but how many of you have solved a three dimensional maze? Probably none of you, but for those of you who have, have you ever solved a three dimensional maze on foot with no light but a flashlight? Right, probably not, but that's okay, I'm building you the opportunity. That right, lucky unsuspecting xblig players get to cope with 3d mazes. Stream of consciousness, I'm going all the way editing is for the lame. I'm allergic to practically every plant alive, what the hell, I'm suffering, I hate grass, and carpet and humidity, true story. What if my mazes seamless teleported you to a different spot within the maze, I bet you would never solve it. Should that be a bonus level or a prerequisite to beating the game? It probably doesn't matter, nobody reads this blog and I doubt any of you have played my game. You probably mistakenly clicked one of my screen shots on google image search right? Ha! Google Chrome's spell checker considers "google" to be a spelling error. Whatever. Sleep is for the weak. I'm gonna go grab a beer, if anyone reads this blog post, leave your e-mail as a comment and I'll e-mail you a free activation key for robot doom, because I know you can't spare to part with a dollar, I know I can't, I'm broke and living the dream, that's what game development is, day in and day out, week in and week out, month by month and year by year fly by, a constant state of extreme concentration, I'm talking autistic extreme concentration, a state stretching into the future, devouring your life a year at a time, that's game development, that's my life, my dream, the dream, game development, angst, that's the dream and I'm living it. I used to live it one bottle at a time, but I can't afford booze anymore so I'm just living it. Maybe one day I'll write that book about myself I have been telling my faithful readers about, a book where you can live as an indie game developer vicariously through my book cast into time. Really, is their much with a shorter life span than an indie game? Direct to download video games are worse than direct to dvd movies, seriously, we put these things on the internet, can you think of anything less staying power or less permanence? Whatever, this is your life and it's ending one year at a time. My twenties, I gave them to you, for nothing, seriously, I would have made significantly more flipping burgers and jizz burger or really, I would have made more begging, maybe if I had sawed my leg off below the knee out on the side walk, I bet I could have made more in a single day, or at least qualified for some life long of disability pension... It's not like a need my legs sitting in front of the computer, maybe I could have had it both ways, made games and sawed my leg off. Whatever, honestly, I don't really want to make games or saw my leg off. Did I mention I'm a father now? Right, about that beer, I'll let you know how it goes or not, It doesn't matter.

The Story of the Moral

I was thinking about the the boy who cried wolf. Clearly the message was about lying, but what was the moral about? Was it that you shouldn't lie, or that shouldn't tell the same lie twice? Anyway, here are some screen shots.

It's a long hard road out of hell.

It's that special time of the development cycle, that persistent nagging conviction, that total commitment to a project that forces me into wild irrational mood swings where I compulsively refuse to play games, refuse have fun, refuse to get hammered and refuse to feel good about anything. I know my affliction sounds like depression, but it's not, it's something far worse, it's a despair deeper than anything experienced by any poet and/or medicated twat. Image a man, different than you, facing the black monolith of unknown, trying to focus on it's depth, it's richness, it's texture and it's sheer size. Now imagine that same man, still different than you, attempting to understand that black monolith of the unknown in the deepest philosophical understanding while trying to block out that ear blistering shrill sound of the top 40 radio hits blasting in his ears while attempting to write reliable code on the most affordable ergonomic keyboard ever made while drinking cheap Japanese light beer. That's my life and I'm living the dream, day and night, night and day, day by day until the end. Maybe one day when I'm freed, when I'm not broke, not living the dream, not depressed with a fresh techno playlist, I'll write a novel about me, for you to read. I'm not editing or re-reading this post, I'm going all the way today, stream of consciousness in your face.

Blogs!

A new screenshot for a new game.

It's done and it's diabolical!

I have an awesome new high-tech rendering engine, it brings a new level of visual fidelity to xbox live indie games, but enough about that, let's talk about what really matters. I have built the longest most diabolical level ever made, it's awesome, I have combined the best and worse of all level design into a single soul devouring sanity slaying experience that you will be proud to complete but never want to attempt again. In the end my new game will leave you with a nagging sensation of emptiness, an emptiness gouged out of your real life soul, a desire to experience without experiencing, a drive to live vicariously through the trials and tribulations of your friends suffering through.

I'm feeling particularly diabolical right now.

I'm feeling particularly diabolical right now.

The levels for Escape From Robot Doom 2 are turning out to be a lot of fun, the days of walking with cement feet are over, when I'm through with you, you're going to wish you were at the bottom of a lake with your feet in cement.

Honestly, easy mode ends with the seven minute trial mode, after seven minutes you're mine.

Bleh.

Escape From Robot Doom became available on the first of December. My update has been sitting in approval process limbo for two weeks, it's no closer than implementation than it was two weeks ago.

Robot Doom 2 is well underway now.

First Feedback!

This one's a buyer!
Pros: Great price - Crazy good graphics - Unique - Very fun gameplay - Good sounds - Good music
Cons: Controls need a little work.

http://indies.onpause.org/2011/12/escape-from-robot-doom.html

He also made a video of game play, which embarrassingly for me, is the first video of the final game play.

Escape From Robot Doom on Xbox Live Indy Games

Escape From Robot Doom is now available on XBOX Live Indy Games for 80ms points.

Now I'm going to prove that I'm a real game developer by releasing a patch the same day as my game.

 

There is no substitute for waiting.

Escape From Robot Doom is crawling through peer review. Meanwhile, I have started work on Escape From Robot Doom 2. No more puzzle action games, this one is going to be an RPG.

Uploaded For Play Testing

That's right, it's really happening, I uploaded Escape From Robot Doom for play testing. If you're an apphub member, please go give my game a beating and tell me bugs you beat out of it.

Cover Art

Tick Tick Tick Tick...

Nine Levels, One Way To Die!

Last night I finished up the ninth and final level.

I have a few final tweaks and changes to make and then I need to check xbox live indy games compliance and I will upload my game for peer review.